You can’t imagine it, the singer states. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in eight years, ecstatically in love with her current love, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for ten years, on top of the world. Then in March she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The musician, actual name J. Cornish, is famous for telling it as it is. The record, her latest release, was intended as an open book, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last worked on songs (endometriosis, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, gaslighting, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The initial release, her single No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. Her diagnosis. Later follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, debuted in late spring and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly living with her cancer. A month later she disclosed her condition, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I release with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they ask, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s still waiting for follow-up surgery.
We’re at a photo studio in the capital. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, denim trousers with elaborate white patches, cream boots and big frames. Picture biker chic meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the movie. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. Cornish is fast-thinking, irreverent and filter-free. She says she has always been interested in humor and is hoping to make her standup debut soon. “I like entertaining. During performances I basically roast the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was getting ready for an appearance at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it examined, had an ultrasound, and they were, like, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and tingling in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d call on the Monday. By then she had convinced herself it was fine. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had so much on.
“We’re two weeks away from launching this thing after a long hiatus and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I thought, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I jump on the Zoom believing it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your reports have shown malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. The timing is terrible.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They walk you down. In urgent cases you go on a gurney, but then I just marched with a hospital gown and my bum hanging out. It felt surreal.” But, she adds, she’s been blessed. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the procedure. “It’s terrible, but however Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal four months ago and my one side now resembles a odd shape.” She smiles again. “The nipple was preserved.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she notes, are now “uneven. The implant is larger than before. That’s impolite! I reflected, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a hard period. Such disrespect! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be perfect. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s used to medical emergencies. Frequently they align with peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or shock, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘Things going well? Hold on.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside moments of success for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already beginning starring in the West End in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of 9). That’s when she was diagnosed with the cardiac issue Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as vertigo and irregular beats. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and 17-year-old Jess has entered the trio Soul Deep while studying at the performing arts school. “I secured a deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Oi, I say, slow down, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees
